Public VS Private

Don’t get me wrong, your life is your business and you're not obliged to let anyone know anything. If you and your partner knows what it is then that’s always most important. But when do we get blind sighted by how open we should or could be with our relationships, in a time where social media rules.

There are definitely levels to being public and private. Public enough for people to know of your partners presence but private enough for no one to know your business. But finding that balance isn’t always easy, and that’s something I know first hand.

It’s always well and good when things are rosy…he’s your babe; she’s yours but sometimes the things that follow aren’t always the sweetest. Times when the break-up has you deleting half of your pictures on Instagram or changing your ‘@’ on twitter, those are the instances where you wish you never were so public about it. Unless you’re friends or at least mutual afterwards, the pictures of you together at dinner or whatever aren’t always welcome.

But when does private become too private. Every person would rightfully want to show off his or her partner there’s a sense of pride, joy and content with knowing that they are with yours your other half and you may want people to know that.

As I said there are levels to it. Some things shouldn’t be considered too deeply, but some will say it is questionable that every other picture on your Instagram for example, is of you and him, and you are nowhere to be seen on his. Not to conclude that something is up if he doesn’t, maybe he doesn't post a lot; he may have your name in his bio and sometimes that’s more than enough. Regardless, what you can see is where some of these issues arise; is there is a balance between how you show and represent each other, does there need to be?  Don’t be too quick to react or start something, taking everything with a pinch of salt will make everything that much easier.

A woman should never feel hidden or irrelevant in her partners life and vice versa. If you feel like you aren’t being ‘claimed’ chances are there is a reason for it and most times it seems like 'who don't you want to know?'. Its not always that simple, but it is logical.
Parents’ not knowing is always an iffy one that stems a lot deeper at times and if you aren't at the stage don't stress on trying to force it to happen. With that said, would he/she introduce you to their parents? If you’ve never questioned that, think about it or better yet ask your partner and see how they react and what they say.

You don’t always need to broadcast your relationships especially if you are some who changes partners regularly, that goes without saying. People will always talk regardless but sometimes don’t give them something to talk about. ‘The proof is in the pudding’ let your relationship speak louder than your words. If people do find out have no shame in embracing what you have and never make the mistake to deny it, it’s your choice to respond to peoples questions how you want to. The more serious the relationship becomes the more comfortable and secure you can be in being more open with it if you chose to.

The main point to remember is you should never be denied, hidden or made a secret by your partner, whatever excuse they give its not mysterious and sexy don’t be fooled. When it boils down to it you should be proud of who you call your other half and they likewise should be proud to claim you and let others know you’re theirs. Balance in a relationship is always key alongside other factors. You control what people know and see about your relationship. Don’t allow yourselves to be the talk of the town.

A good relationship will speak volumes and leave people wondering and wanting what you have.

Sometimes saying nothing at all says it all.

What's new Pussycat

               

Heya, so it was one of those days where I tried on like two other outfits and then reverted back to black. Typical but its pretty much what I do if I can’t find anything else but want to feel…good you know. So yeah, this dress is definitely more for autumn/winter its quite a thick PU material so I’m always quite warm in it.

Usually pieces in this material don’t really fit well, but this piece was definitely a nice change. I didn’t layer too tough just some really thin tights and my bag (full of stuff). My hat like I honestly love this hat, the ears are too cute, it always has me feeling all feline and that, especially when I have short hair; plus its good to put on when I’m rushing and have no time to style my hair.

I pretty much styled my outfit around the dress like I always do and actually wore this to work, which says a lot about how comfortable it is. Simple accessories let the dress do the talking, and dark lipstick made it that much more ‘catwomanesque’.

Hope you like it.

xo

Cat ear hat - Dorothy Perkins

Dress - Dorothy Perkins

Tights & Necklace - Primark

Casio watch - ASOS

Bracelet - Amsterdam

Bag - H&M

Shoes - Topshop

Prints & Photos

So sometime last week I met up with a friend for some food (as usual) around the lovely Bricklane. Now I love the area but sadly it’s not somewhere I get to go to that often. So a nice day and such, walking around, as you would do, and a guy and lady stopped us, asking if we wanted to take some photos for their brand modelling their sunglasses.

Wouldn’t have said no to be fair! The shades were too cute and surprisingly suitable for both sexes. I had just bought this kimono which for me if quite a change, for one it’s partially red and patterned. I love my patterns but I love wearing black more. There’s no in-between with me really, but I'm working on it.

So yeah the pictures show my outfit for the day, without the kimono we were almost matching. It was a casual day so obviously kept it simple. The jeans are available but I experimented with some DIY and ripped them myself.

The pictures they used were black and white but I’ve put some in colour for you to see the detail a bit better. Enjoy!

Photographer: Lee Siwoo. Instagram: ssudro

Sunglasses - Trenta

Kimono – Dorothy Perkins

Jeans (modified) – Topshop

Vest dress – H&M

Necklace - Primark

Final destination

Probably some of the most confusing terms to try and use in any budding relationship are exclusivity and official.

So you’re exclusive but not dating. What does that mean? I wonder how you can be exclusive (as in 100% not seeing any other people or having anyone else in that sense) yet you’re technically not together...someone enlighten me.

So yes, exclusive but not official. Like the previous post touched on, you definitely having to give everything time and be patient. But a year or two into it and you’re not official; it becomes questionable where everything is going.

For someone like me I definitely think towards the future a lot, but at the same time I can go with the flow. So there’s never any rush to be official but exclusivity is a must (no sharing), but there does come a point where you feel as though without some definition, things are plateauing. I never thought a guy had to clearly say ‘would you be my girlfriend’ but to be fair a friend of mine explained it to me and it really did make sense. Sometimes relying on “knowing what it is” isn’t always a good thing, that’s where misunderstandings occur, and whilst you think you’re on the same page as your partner, you find out that you’re in two different minds about what you are and what the relationship is.
Sad to say, you should never assume your position. If it isn’t spelt out clearly and verbalised don’t think it's something just because you want it to be. Worst case scenario you get them saying ‘but I never said that’ leaving you standing there realising 1) they never did. 2) You’ve made an assumption 3) they are probably making excuses but most of all 4) you feel silly for thinking otherwise.

And again, it’s always easy to say you wouldn’t be in that position, you cooked, cared, loved and tolerated him, you KNOW you've done it all to perfection and believe you're in the right to think so, but that’s where you underestimate the power of misunderstandings, miscommunication and excuses.

Never make assumptions.

It's inevitable, but in most aspects of life can be detrimental. You assume it’s this because of that, and that he meant this because he said that, we do it with the media all the time. If ever in doubt have that dude spell it out. Even a smidgen of confusion leaves the space for you to add your own hope and expectations into a simple sentence or situation. We all selectively hear and see what we want, so sometimes don’t read between the lines, and ask for clarity. If you need to have your relationship defined then do so. If you don’t know what you are together or at least what you are aiming to be, you’re simply wandering and taking chances that most people don’t have the time for.  
A train that is fit for travel doesn’t just wait at the station, it moves, goes on a journey and no matter how slow or halted the journey is, reaches it final destination. If your train breaks down mid-way, don’t hold on to it, it's okay to go a different route. Waste no time dwelling on how the journey would have been, everything and everyone in life happens for a reason.

Time is precious but waits for no one. Patience does go a long way, but so does common sense. If the individual doesn’t benefit you in any way and you are there in a stationary phase...just waiting at that station…

Well you know what to do.

Forgive&Forget

All men are the same?

Once you factor out; Age, culture, Religion, upbringing, Experiences, common sense…

What I’m trying to say is we are all the same at some point (excluding race and gender as a factor), as we grow that’s when we differentiate, become the individuals we are today, and can say why or how we are different from the next person.

This is mainly aimed at the ladies (but guys switch men to women and its applicable too) because if anything we are the ones expected to say ‘guys are all the same’. Now there’s no point in getting at a girl and telling her ‘it’s her fault for trying them all’ it goes without saying, that after a loophole of experiences it is easy to come to such a conclusion.

Who is to blame?

It takes two to tango, two to make a situation, and it definitely takes two to communicate – well communicate well anyway. Now I am definitely not saying one party should take the blame, but sometimes reflect before retaliating and try placing yourself on the other side.

If they are all the same, why are you ending up with the same? Have you changed? What have you changed? We attract what we portray and sometimes you have to swallow that truth before complaining. We ourselves sometimes don’t even realise what we reflect to others. Then again take that and realise some people really just do get the wrong impression, and that wont always be something you can change, some people like to prejudge and close their minds to you but then who are they anyway…next!

Identifier

It’s been said that we see ourselves differently to how others see us. Cheers to those that this doesn’t apply to. Ever asked your friends how they see you? What is your identifier? Firstly, your friends are usually a good reflection of you; but apart from your family they are the ones that should see you for who you are. Disclaimer: The word friend(s) isn’t used loosely in this context so know which “friends” you’re asking. Take any advice or criticism they give with a pinch of salt, apply your own common sense to it and then see if it works for you, here’s to hoping they want what’s best for you.

Boys will be boys

Boys being the key word. It is sometimes hard to admit you have a boy on your hands when you want or thought you had a man. Some will give you a list of things that will help you tell the difference, that isn’t always applicable when they tick some boxes and not others – leaving you to be in denial all over again. But ultimately ladies, you know what’s up. He doesn’t have to be like your dad (some of you wouldn’t want that anyway) but you know when you’re being treated according to your worth (blog on knowing your worth linked below). Boys will be boys, they are incapable of handling a strong and developed lady like you, so don’t beat them up when they fall short of doing so. Age wont determine what you end up with so don’t focus on that. Instead focus on you, MEN will know your worth, they will know if they are fit to approach you, and at that stage change should come.

Give a guy a chance, and don’t go searching for what you think you want, during your time of patience build yourself to be the woman you know you can be and the right guy will find you. Do something different, be different, and then you should come into something different.

And remember, the Alex, Josh, Michael, Tyrese or John that came before this one doesn’t have to affect the next one.

Dupes make me happy

Why window-shop when you own this.

I can’t be the only one to see an item and wonder if there’s cheaper out there. So following my natural desire to find a bargain I’m always on the search for a good deal, from anything between my winter coats, to my next foundation.

There are so definite trendsetters out there who pave the way for other companies to create products very similar, but a lot more affordable and well who am I to complain.

That’s where the beauty of ‘make-up’ revolution comes into play.

Launched not too far back in March this year, the new make up brand is not the 'newest' but genuinely affordable and absolute quality (from what i've seen).

Now we know of existing affordable brands out there but their colour range and pigmentation are easily questionable leaving us going back to the originals.

A friend of mine mentioned this to me and compared it to the infamous urban decay palette, which obviously left me wondering how good it could be.

I’m no make up guru, and so the price that comes with the naked palette is understandably too steep. I love my neutral shades but not at that cost.

So me being me, I couldn’t remember the name but knew it was stocked at superdrug.  So here I am searching online and there it was. So basically lets just say my order is being made.

Not the clearest of images but you can see the similarities between the naked palette (1) and make up revolution iconic 1. The names literally match up (cheeky) so if you have a favourite UD palette you know which one to go for.

I haven’t received my products yet to do a swatch and I can’t find it in any stores yet! But either way if you’re looking for a uncanny dupe I would definitely say visit the Superdrug website (or if any can find it the store) and see what you find. There is so much more than the eyeshadow palettes with their foundation range catering to dark skin too but I'm a bit skeptical with that, we'll see though.

The prices are from literally £1 and the palettes £4, no wonder my basket was so full.

Photo credits: Superdrug website & Google